Congratulations!!!!
To the Indian Team for breaking World Records for all the wrong reasons
Captain Rathaur

One billion strong population congratulates the great Indian Cricket team for establishing a world record by scoring 54 all out in just over 26 overs, stunning and shocking, the lowest ever in the history of Sharjah! We would also like to extend our thanks to the Board President Mr Muthiah and his entire pack for selecting such a clutch of chickens who fell supine before the thundering attack of Lankan Tigers. There was nothing more humiliating to see the heroes of various Ad companies scatter like the nine pins. Oof!! What a great finale!!! The eyes sharam se jhuk gayeen!!! Will they continue to drink Pepsi and Coke?

Bravo Mr Yuvraj! You proved the people, who pinned hopes foolishly on you, as mad. Actually you correctly showed the place possibly they (your fans) deserve. The Great Ganguly Head of the herds deserves all the praise. When asked to comment on this shameful performance, he does not want to remember it at all. One only hopes he doesn't refuse to remember the game as well! That would be the saddest day for the would be winners of such matches in future. What will the poor fellows do without him and his foot soldiers?

And finally our greatest thanks to all the Ad companies, who vie with each other in bloating the false ego of these ‘toads’, the players, in signing them up and writing them off before they have even begun to walk.  Great performance and keep it up. Shabash!!!
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These Women!
The wives who 'accompany' the cricketers.
Mita Dey

The wise had said - "There always is a woman behind every successful man." Yes, women lib. Believers will definitely agree with me. However, hard-core cricket fans would like to add that these women need not necessarily always be 'behind' their successful men, wherever they go. Outstation tours for matches, tournaments or practice - the wives are there to prove the pati-parmeshvar concept right. They will be right there tagging along with their husbands. The reason of such behaviour is more to do with their desire to visit exotic locales and of course to also cheer their men on, albeit wearing their expensive phoren 'just bought' clothes.

So, should wives and girlfriends accompany teams on important campaigns? A very debatable question, that. The wife is a wife is a wife - be it that of a pauper or that of a cricket star. And the absolute truth lies in the fact that the wife will nag. The wife will like to go shopping. The wife will like to go touring the city. The wife will like to go out for dinner. The wife will like to check out the discotheques, the beaches, the malls... and the husband will take her wish to be his command. When the wife doesn't want all that, she will desire exclusive time with him.

No wonder then, that most coaches and officials feel the player's focus is compromised if the mate is around. Concentration definitely affects the game. Imagine, that instead of the batsman looking around the field for a potential shot, his wife's familiar face catches his eye. And there he is, reminiscing last night's dinner. And God forbid, if he fails to spot his wife out! For the next few balls, his eyes will rivet and his mind will ponder as to the mysterious disappearance of his lady.

There have been instances when tour managers have coaxed national boards into putting the wives on the earliest flight to wherever the team is playing. Even if this article might just be an exaggeration of the actual situation, we think that the wife is best left in front of the tele watching her hubby play his game.

Star talk
Pretty ladies list their favourites
Tanya Menon

Cricketers are more of cricket stars, right? Stars that twinkle and shine. What then do the starry ladies say about that? Err.. Let me explain the starry ladies are a species of the female breed who belong to a certain sector of society popularly known as Bollywood.

It does make sense. Cricketers do demand the attention that they get from the women folk. First, it's uncanny but most of our cricket players are pretty cute. Come on, admit it, Rahul Dravid, Tendulkar, Jadeja.. they couldn't have gotten cuter! Second, surrounded by men who never hesitate to don the grease paint, and who wouldn't bat an eye lid while getting their eyebrows threaded, who wax their arms (and lots more too!) and jiggle their bodies to the most not-happening film music; Well, the beauties, actresses I mean, in the film industry do deserve a break! The suave cricketers on the other hand swear by their workouts and live by the mantra of dedication and hard play - oops! - hard work.

Take for instance, the sultry Kashmira Shah. Her favourites include Jonty Rhodes, Shoaib Akhtar, Steve Waugh, but most importantly, thinks the world of Jadeja and insists that Tendulkar is most definitely the perfect 'ten'. The petite Riya Sen-Dev Varma drools over Jadeja's game, Ganguly, Tendulkar rank second in her list of the top of the tops. Likewise, Ishita Arun too is quite bowled over by our cricket masters - especially the little ones, I mean the little master, Sachin Tendulkar. Ganguly, Dravid and Kapil Dev are the lady's other favourites. When talking of world-class cricketers, how could we not include what our Miss world had to say? Yukta Mookhey finds Gavaskar to be top of the tops. Surprise, surprise! The lady is smitten by none other than Mongia's enthusiasm for the game. Miss Mookhey is pretty original. She shuns the very obvious choices and chooses to admire Venkatesh Prasad, Anil Kumble and Javagal Srinath instead for their energy and focus. Must say that the lady has a lot of balling spirit in her - no wonder then that she ignored the batsmen.

Divine wonders
Reshma Singh

In today's cricket world where the pitch and the court room goes hand in hand, one can't be sure about things, right? Destiny, karma, luck, charm - they all play a major role. I personally know of a gentleman who performed Reiki, sitting right here in Delhi, on the Indian Cricket team on the day of an important match against Pakistan. That is quite another matter that India lost. He liked to believe then that the Pakistanis must have used even more powerful prayers.

What the gentleman did not realize, or perhaps did not know, was the fact that the Paki Cricket team itself is a pious lot. Even if they are all padded up and ready for play, they make sure that they pay their respects to the almighty. Take this example of this pretty amazing incident. In one of the Singer Triangular league clashes between South Africa and Pakistan in Colombo, Shaun Pollock was all set to steam in when batsmen Saeed Anwar suddenly went down on his knees. No, it was not in fear nor of awe of the bowler, but the reason was quite modest. Anwar had heard the muezzin's call from a mosque near by, and so did not hesitate to say his prayers, even if he was in the thick of things.

Of course, quite understandably, the South Africans were puzzled. There seemed nothing else to do, but wait for Anwar to resume a reasonably appropriate posture. However, it was the same story again as my Reiki friend. Pakistan lost by 18 runs. Anwar too must have consoled himself, that the Aussies must have prayed a wee bit harder !

Cronje - what's up?
An update on the sacked South African captain
M. Chatterji

You'll have to admit, Cronje has not been much in the news lately. Or probably, after having our fill of Cronje tales hitting the headlines, the sudden calm seems quite sinister. Here are a few sizzlers to make up for the  looooong break ! For starters, would you be able to figure out how Cronje  finds himself in the same situation as General Pinochet, former president of   Chile was once in ?! Read on……..........

Here's the story :- Cronje has been told by his lawyer that his extradition will be sought by India if he travels to England. Why? Well, here comes the Delhi Police in  the picture again. Are our cops feeling kind of sidelined ? After all, the entire match-fixing gamut has been their baby - and devoured by the world over. Delhi police wishes to question Cronje, now.

Cronje was due to arrive in London this week itself to  discuss his future (of whatever there is that is left of it ) with his advisor Max Clifford. In fact it was Clifford who said that General Pinochet and Cronje find themselves in the same spot. "It is important this is sorted  out as the world's media wants to talk to him," he added. Speaking of the media craze for Cronje, the guy seems to be at it yet again - the money   business, I mean. Cronje is understood to be seeking, would you believe it,  250,000 pounds. All this from a London-based publisher, Collins Willow who has sought a synopsis of what Cronje would say about his transgressions as   captain of South Africa. However, it is still to be seen whether Cronje's  dreams are to be realised or not - because an advance of this magnitude will depend upon whether newspaper serialisation can be obtained. Not just that,   when it comes to Cronje, the media seems to leave no stone unturned. Or is it the other way round ? Because, hold your breath, there is also a possibility of the sale of film rights!

Making the most of the situation, right Mr. Cronje?  Forsome  people, the buck just rolls on...........